Weird and random petitions

These are all from the official government E-Petitions website.

Introduce Compulsary Unicycle Riding Lessons For The Armed Forces

Let mice be allowed free travel on public transport

Ban Fallout Boy and Panic! At The Disco

Give borat complete control of england, making him more powerful than TB and the queen.

Allow Sheffield United FC to be exempt from relegation from the Premier League

Command the tide to go back

Wear bermuda shorts on a thursday

Move the UK to a warmer climate

Make cat owners responsible for their pets actions including fowling in peoples gardens

Invade France

Free the Chicken People!

Send cats to iraq in medieval battle armour mounted on weasels

Make Britain the 51st State of America and not part of a Federalised Europe

Banish Jade Goody to a distant land far far away so she doesn't make an even bigger fool out of herself than she already has!

Make Britain into a Pirate ship

Put a british monkey into space

Give cats the same rights as humans

Send an elite team of ninjas to the moon to combat the iminent chav invasion

Ban My Chemical Romance from headlining Download Festival 2007

Change the National Anthem to "We Will Rock You" by Queen

We must all hail HYPNO TOAD

Make me a cup of tea

Ensure that mashed potatoes are 100% mashed potatoes, not like turnip or nowt

Ban men from buying hair straightners

Ban broccoli as an edible foodstuff and reclassify it as a toxic substance

Provide every person of 70 years of age with a Grey Squirrel

Ban Tinned Fruit In Syrup

Please ban hangovers as we feel poorly

Bring back blue smarties!

Allow free prescriptions for elderly badgers

Have every Monday off